Thursday, August 11, 2011

GUEST POST: An Unspoken Running Rule

FINALLY!! After a year and a half of blogging and a WHOLE lot of prodding, FINALLY, the one, the only, RUNSIS is going to make her blog debut in the form of a guest post!!! (Can you just hear my excitement?) Time after time, I have BEGGED this woman to share with you all the wit & humor of her running insights. Most of the time, I get nothing more than a grin and a “maybe” or a “we’ll see.” But this time, this time one runner has taken his cluelessness to extremes and she just couldn’t resist putting pen to paper any longer. My comments are in pink, but here’s her story:

Oh wow. A guest post. First, I’d like to say I’m honored just to be nominated (I mean asked)! Second, please be aware I’m writing this post mostly from a mother’s point of view, not so much a runner’s. My husband thinks I’m now a running snob, so if I offend you, let me apologize in advance and assure you that I am in fact, a nice person. Please, hold harmless Runfastmommy as all accounts are purely from my perspective.

And now, on with the events of this past weekend…

My 6 year old son and I signed up for a local 1 mile fun run/walk. Even though it was pricey ($18), it was not to be missed since the finish line was at a super cool location & the money went to charity.

We arrived early for our 10am start and the 5K/10K participants were still finishing from their 8:30 start. When our start time approached, we headed out to the starting line and that’s when I noticed a super fit (shirtless) middle-aged man with a medal draped victoriously around his neck. I didn’t know they were giving out medals and hoped they were handing them out in the kids run too since it would be a really nice souvenir for my son.

As we waited for the horn to signal the start, superfit running guy lined up at the start of the fun run too (medal and all). “Aww, how cute,”  I thought. He won his age group and now he’s running with his kid(s). But that was not the case.

Just before the horn, he slipped his medal off and prepared to crush the field of juniors. I only saw him once more, as we passed by each other on the out and back portion of the run. He was running ALONE out in front of two 12 year old boys who were desperately trying to keep ahead of the girl behind them (seriously, they kept asking each other if she was still there and if she was catching up.)

Then I forgot about superfit running man, who I now have affectionately renamed DB (a.k.a. douche bag) and enjoyed the race with my son. My little superstar took off the last 300 meters of the race at a pace I’ve never seen out of him before. And I let him have his moment of glory, as I dropped back so he could beat not only me, but the little girl who had to stopped to tie her shoe. I couldn’t have been prouder.

My thoughts came back to DB though as my parents informed me that (after jumping the starting horn so as not to let another little boy who did the same get ahead of him) he had in fact demolished the field of children and handicapped youth that participated in the race.

Now, my husband believes I have become a running snob. He presented a couple of theories as to why an age group winner of a 5k (yeah, that’s right I looked him up because that’s how I roll) would take part in the 1 miler.

First theory: He needed to run more mileage. Ok I’ll bite. So he must have needed to run 4 miles on this particular day. First, he ran 3.1 miles at a sub 7 minute per mile pace and then waited around for an hour and ten minutes to complete his run? That doesn’t make sense to me.

Second theory: He’s practicing for a future 1 mile race or speed work. Um ok. Nothing would boost my confidence more than beating a bunch of kids and adult beginners. Furthermore, the race wasn’t even timed and no one was directing you at the slightly confusing turnaround and the many different cones you could have chosen to turn around at. Sign up for an ACTUAL ADULT 1 Mile race, like at the CRIM in a couple of weeks. Do your speed work somewhere else, like a local track. We get it, DB. You’re fast.

Third theory: He mistakenly thought it was going to be an adult 1 mile timed race. OK then, when you line up at the start, note that as a man of average height you are in fact towering over ALL of your competition and by God man, STAND DOWN OR SLOW DOWN!

That was pretty much my hubby’s only “reasons.” My biggest problem is that this race was for the KIDS and if my kid had finished 2nd to DB, I would be furious!! The 5K/10K were for adults and any kids that wanted to try. Let the kids have their moment to shine. I hope at DB’s next 5K he gets smoked by a couple of superfast kiddos at the finish line (I know they’re out there).

Not cool DB. Not cool.

And mega props to my mom (that’d be Runnana) who gave HER age group medal to her grandson for for coming in 1st place in the fun run. He claimed first place since he finished ahead of all the kids around him and paid no attention to all those who had already crossed the finish line (and not a one of us is going to tell him otherwise! Way to go Little Man!)

And one more thing DB. Come on. Could you at least put your shirt on for the kiddie races? Thanks.

So yes, for those of you who saw the Facebook poll question on my page earlier in the week, THIS is the very reason for it. I too was branded a running snob by my brother-in-law (which I am not sure he can technically do anyway, since I do believe I am the official creator of that term and if not, I’m at least the first one to use that term in our family and so therefore I have the exclusive authority to define it and as such do heretofore find myself exempt at all times from having it applied to me).

So in the midst of our debate about the shirtless wonder I thought I’d pose that question to you all for some real insight, but since I know not all of you have FB and couldn’t really figure out how to post the back story in just a few sentences, I’m going to pose that question again here. Was DB actually well within his running rights thus leaving both my sister and I teetering dangerously on the edge of snobbdom? Or did he break an unspoken running rule, one that he’d do well to abide by lest he be faced a bevy of angry running mammas to deal with? (Would. Not. Be. Pretty.)

You decide. Cast your vote either in my FB poll by clicking here or right here on blogger by scrolling down to the poll at the very bottom of this page. Or like always, feel free to leave us your two cents in the comments and we’ll put this matter for rest once and for all.

Thanks for your post RunSis. Did not disappoint, that’s for sure!

 'Til next time...

P.S. For those of you who were paying attention, yes! We are going to have a giveaway to celebrate my 500th FB '”like” (WOOHOO!!) I just need to figure out what exactly to give away. Stay tuned.

P.P.S. Don’t forget to tell my sister what a terrific post she wrote. That way the next time she wants me to pose a post/question, something the likes of “your kid explodes through their diaper while sitting in their bouncy seat during the last 5 minutes of your treadmill run, do you stop or pretend you don’t see it and push on to the finish?” she’ll perhaps be a little more compelled to do so. (Yes, she actually did want me to write a post about that because yes, it actually did happen to her. See the kind of gems we’re missing here!)


Jessica Azar said...

WTG RunSis!!!!! I howled through this piece, because we have all seen DB's like this at races. Grow up dude, grow the freak up. This does not make any of us running snobs... this makes us Anti-DB's. PLEASE guest post again! Loved it.

thepawsitivethinker said...

Maybe DB has a quota for the number of races he's ran this year and the little kids race counted as another one. Who knows?

The UnaRunner said...

You ever see Full Metal Jacket? DB should have been beaten with bars of soap in socks at the finishline. I have been fortunate to compete and place in some local races, but you have to know the field. No respect for this guy.

Mum on the Run said...

What the?
Someone shoulda had a word (or two - DB) to this guy.

shannonsfoodruns said...

Great post - too funny! Assuming he didn't have an intellectual disability or something, this guy is RUDE!

{lifeasa}RunningMom said...

Great post!

DB - not cool.

runnanna said...

I still refer to him as Kramer...for the time Kramer beat up all the little kids at the local karate school. Hilarious post and my little grandson ran FANTASTIC! I was shocked at his sprint at the end! We'll just see if Kramer ends up at any more local races. Maybe all the kids can gang up on him. I'd love to see him get beat by them. wonder if he'd do any toddler trots??

Judy said...

I don't think it's being a running snob - it's that unspoken rules. I just don't understand why he felt the need to compete in this race even though he was technically allowed. Maybe he lost a bet?