Sunday, October 17, 2010

Grins & Giggles: Questions that haunt me

Ok so maybe you’ve all gotten this in an email already, but I just finished my run, checked my email and this was there from Runnana. It cracked me up, so I thought I’d share. PLUS I’m totally behind on posting ever since Tiger Baby decided to start waking up at 2AM to for a couple of hours EVERY NIGHT. Now, I don’t actually get up and check on her (ok maybe once), because there is absolutely NOTHING in her room that could possibly hurt her. Literally. NOTHING. There was a dresser, but she started ripping the child safety locks off with her brute baby strength which was of course followed by using the drawers as steps with which to climb. Buh bye dresser.

There was a toddler bed. Until I discovered she was eating it. And by eating it, I don’t just mean gnawing the paint off. I mean biting actual chunks of wood out of the frame and digesting (hopefully) it. Buh bye bed.

So then there was a just a room with a toddler mattress on the floor blocking the closet so she couldn’t break into it. But did I mention brute baby strength? Yeah, she tossed that toddler mattress around her room like a WWE wrestler. Which was of course followed by the discovery that the sheet didn’t cover the bottom of the mattress. And lo and behold Tiger Baby sunk those little claws of hers into the bottom and tore a nice whole in her mattress, ripping the stuffing out to do what else with, but eat. Buh bye toddler mattress.

So now she has a giant twin mattress, blocking the closet and that’s it period. But I guess in protest, she’s decided to have a little free for all for a couple of hours in the middle of the night. It’s actually quite entertaining to hear her having a good old time playing all by herself, but I think I’d enjoy it a little more if it wasn’t AT 2AM.

So anyway, lack of sleep means lack of posts. I’ve got to get it when I can and that means I’ve been trying to get to bed early for the late night party every night. Hopefully, this little phase will be coming to an end soon because I have sooooooo  much to tell you all.

But in the meantime here’s a giggle thanks to Runnana. Feel free to add your own haunting questions if you can think of any.



Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?  Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE.........
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you

'Til next time...


RunMom said...

FYI: That last one was not MY favorite question. Personally I really like the one about the vaccuum and the string. I totally do that. It was the unknown chain email author's favorite.

And I have a running hauting question (from my running coach instructor): Why are barefoot running shoes called "five fingers" instead of "five toes"? Hmm? Something to think about.

Cynthia O'H said...

I cringed when I thought about wearing the same clothes for eternity. Now I have an excuse to get rid of all my old, worn things and buy some sharp, new togs! Wait, togs won't cut it, will they?

Michelle said...

Oh, I so feel for you and the 2am wakings. Our little guy always did this close to his birthdays for a month and then it would stop. Hang in there!

Miss Rhei said...

I so love your list of questions that haunts you... totally true, why why why?

I really had fun! More power!

Zaneta said...

haha.. i loved reading this post! It gave me a good laugh! :)
(and yes, i sang twinkle twinkle little star and the alphabet song lol)

Jennifer said...

I remember those nights of being woken up a lot! Oh kids are older now and STILL doing it! HAHAHAHA!!