Some running injuries are unavoidable. Say for instance…twisting your ankle on an unexpected out of nowhere pothole. While other injuries are a product of rookie mistakes like buying a running shoe that doesn’t fit properly because you didn’t realize your foot would expand while running and so therefore you should buy up at least one size thus leaving you with a footfull of blisters or perhaps even taking out a toenail or two after a couple of runs. Then, there are injuries that develop out of sheer and utter stupidness. And THAT my friends, I do believe aptly applies to what I’m dealing with following my long run this morning.
I, once again, forgot my body glide. (Body glide for those of you who are unfamiliar would be pretty much just exactly like what it sounds. It’s a wonderful little stick that looks similar to deodorant that you apply to wherever you happen to chaff on a run to prevent friction and make the body…glide).
Now, if I’d never dealt with these issues before, this would be perhaps excusable. But alas, not only have I dealt with and know the proper steps to avoid said stupid injury, but I have forgotten to apply body glide on more than one occasion on previous runs (perhaps most notably the case of delayed onset chaffing.) Furthermore, when I woke this morning I spent a good ten minutes looking for my body glide stick which I never was able to find. Finally, I just settled on a teeny tiny dinky little sample of body glide I got from an expo which, while I certainly appreciate the free goods, if you want to feel really silly try applying a miniature stick of body glide to a fairly large area, like my inner thighs (not mine, try your own) while it keeps falling out of the tube.
Anyhow, you’d think with all that to do about body glide this morning I would have actually remembered to PUT IT ON. Although technically, I did. At mile 8 of a 14 mile run when I began to feel the burning. And what do you do at that point? I mean, you’re out there after all, miles away from your car. You’re going to have to finish the run and you know with every single step it’s going to get worse. But really, what can you do?
Fortunately for me, dragging my cement block legs served as somewhat of a distraction for awhile. I just never ever really got loose today and was off pace about 30 seconds per mile. For a moment at about mile 6, I thought I was there. My legs finally realized what they were supposed to be doing. I could open up my stride a little bit. Then, bam! Another hill and my legs were toast. It was one of those runs where you just have to be grateful that you CAN even run because it certainly wasn’t what I’d call fun.
And the minute I stopped running, man oh man, I knew I was going to be paying for that forgetful no so little mistake later (um…yeah…totally am.) Pretty sure I was just a few more steps from literally breaking what can only be described as a friction burn wide open. I have never actually seen chaffing as swollen as this before before (and I’m tempted to continue to describe this terrific wound here, but it’s pretty sick so I’ll refrain).
Showering was a special kind of fun by the way. Salty sweaty water on raw skin. Fantastic. But the most brilliant idea of the day had to be when I opted to put a little lotion on it, you know, to ease the pain. (I can hear you shouting from in front of your computer screen “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” but where were you this morning when I needed you hmm?)
Yes, yes I did actually put lotion on a fresh friction burn which I can only describe as frigggin’ awesome (in the sense that I rarely ever use the word awesome as is it is defined, but rather almost always sarcastically to mean the exact opposite of it’s accepted definition). Could probably only have been more painful if I applied it with a wire brush or added a little lemon.
So tonight I am opting for ice. Because you can almost never go wrong with ice. And lesson learned…never forget your body glide? Nope. I’m thinking…get a whole bunch of new LONGER running shorts. No glide necessary. Problem solved.
P.S. In the meantime, if you need me, I'm the one walking funny trying to keep my inner thighs from touching while saying "ow ow ow ow ow" a lot.