Ok I am warning you all right now this is verging on the fringe of absolutely idiotic. So if you continue to read this post, you do so at the risk of your own intelligence. You have been warned!!!
So, I'm at the grocery store the other day with my 3 year old, who's riding on the cart cool as can be with her feet on the bottom bar and her hands on the pushing bar when she yells "MOMMY! STOP!" We're somewhere in between shaving cream and toothpaste at the beginning of our trip and I'm thinking for crying out loud potty already?!
But no, she had far more planned for me. She hops off the cart and runs back down the aisle stopping in front of all the hair removal products. With one hand on her hip and the other in the air in pure Vanna White fashion she says to me emphatically, "Mommy, THIS is Smooth Away." Now I have no idea how she was able to zero in on a box smaller than the size of Kraft Mac & Cheese (only the finest here baby) in the middle of a shelf about eye level for me and pretty high for her as we blew by in a rush to get the shopping done and home before my 1 year old woke up from her nap and started to give her Papa a run for his money, but somehow she did.
Then, she launched her sales pitch, "Mommy, I seen this on tv. It's called Smooth (read Smoov if you want the full effect) Away. You just put it on your fingers like this (she demonstrates with her invisible product) and you rub it on your leg like this and the hair goes away. It's called Smooth Away. You NEED to get this." So I walk back over to where she's standing (we're the only ones in the aisle btw) and ask her where it is. She points. I pick it up. "This?" I ask her. "Yeah Mommy, Smooth Away. Smooooth Away. That's called Smooth Away." So I did what all you moms out there would do...I bought it. I mean I too had seen it on tv, it looked interesting and it was just $10. So I figured what the heck? I'll give it a try. Plus come on, I'm not about to reject my daughter's first major sales pitch and scar her for life ;-)
Later that night following my run, that ended up being way faster than I intended (guess I was kinda jonesin to run again and got carried away), I gave Smooth Away a try and wouldn't you know it?! That stuff worked pretty much just the way Chloe described. The hair magically disappeared. I only tried it on one leg because it recommended testing it out first, but it doesn't hurt or anything and is actually pretty cool.
Then came this morning...
This morning I woke up thinking I was sore from my run. Like I said I ran harder than intended and since I haven't been doing a whole heck of alot since the marathon I figured I was just starting to feel the effects of not running for waaaaay too long, but assumed I'd get over it as the day wore on. But I haven't, it's right leg, shin area. So naturally I'm thinking uh oh shin splints, until I realized it's only one leg and it happens to be the same exact area where I tested out Smooth Away. So I don't know if I Smoothed too much Away or what, but it's a pretty annoying hurt right now and so I can not in good conscience give this product my endorsement for the time being. In fact, I'm seriously considering taking my daughter to court for not fulling disclosing the risks of said product at the time of sale. Not 100% sure if that is grounds for a lawsuit, but I figure between that and the whole playing soccer with her poop around my living room when she was about 2, I ought to be able to get some sort of settlement. (Wait...I don't think I ever told you all that story did I? Ahh...I'm feeling another blog post coming on, but we'll save it for another day.) Unfortunately, she has no current source of income and being that she's a minor and I'm her legal guardian, I guess I would in essence be suing myself. Wonder if I can garner her future wages? Hmmm......
'Til next time.
P.S. I also want to give a shout out to blog reader SHELLY today who will be running this weekend for my sister-in-law, Cathy who's fighting breast cancer. SHELLY YOU ROCK! She's even fighting off the flu and still doing it. What a stud! If you're interested in running a race for Cathy, click here for the post to tell you all about it. It's too late now for me to get you a shirt in time for a Thanksgiving race, but feel free to create your own with a sharpie, wear something pink, or just put a smile on your face when you run. And if you're in the feeling generous kind of mood, just swing on over by the right sidebar of my blog and click on the donate button to help Cathy and her family to care of some of those mounting medical bills in time for the holidays. For more on Cathy's story click here. Thanks so much for your support. Have a great race SHELLY!!!!