Any family reading this right now are thinking "may?" As was my husband when I finished my run today and told him this:
"If you could hear what's going on in my head while I run, you would probably think I was crazy."
"You are assuming I don't already think you are crazy," was his reply.
"True." I said. "But if you heard what was going on in my head, you would KNOW I was insane."
I seem to have multiple personalities (or maybe there's another name for this if you only have two. Obviously, I'm no expert here). They surface only when I run.
There's Good Kelly who knows what she is supposed to do and wants to do it even when the going gets tough. Then there is her arch enemy, Bad Kelly, who would much prefer to allow the covers to suck her right back into bed, is not opposed to quitting at the first sign of weakness and has cruelly killed a vast number of workouts in her day with not even the slightest bit of remorse.
Now they don't both always show up together on every run. Some days one shows up first, then the other. Some days only one comes out for the run. Then there are days like today, when they both show up from the very minute my foot hits the floor at the side of my bed. Today they were both there and at war.
Good Kelly went to put on her running clothes. Bad Kelly was mad she was not still sleeping. Good Kelly had a little something to eat. Bad Kelly didn't think she could stomache the oatmeal because of the weird texture and complained that 18 miles on a treadmill was not only way too far but was also stupid and boring. Good Kelly somehow managed to get us down to the basement to the treadmill.
And we all started together. Mostly Bad Kelly was monopolizing the conversation with things like "You're too tired to be running on a treadmill. You are totally going to fall off; Just quit. This blows. Your legs will never get loose; Woopty do. You just ran one freaking mile, only SEVENTEEN MORE to go; See I told you you shouldn't eat that oatmeal. Now your stomache's upset a bit. You're probably going to puke; You know you're going to have to stop and go to the bathroom...all those stairs...you'll never be able to restart." And of course for about the first four miles, "WOULD YOU JUST GO BACK TO BED."
Now for awhile there, Good Kelly seemed to be leaving me hanging. I knew she was there, but she wasn't saying much. Until finally, at one point admist all the whiny complaining she said this, "Listen, if you want to have this fight then go right ahead. But we're only doing it if you keep your legs moving while we do." To which Bad Kelly muttered, "well...alright."
So she started to fire back a bit at Bad Kelly with things like "You're not even tired anymore, so give it up already about going back to bed." And "so what if you have to stop and go to the bathroom, you'd have to stop if it was a race too wouldn't you?" And "huh...seems like your legs ARE getting lose." Good Kelly also had some other tricks up her sleeve (or hidden somewhere in her sports bra, since she did not in fact have sleeves). Things like praying for distraction (and to get help from God Almighty I'm sure) and rewards like "When you get to 5 you get an E-Gel and at 6 you're turning on the fans!" and cheerleading, "Would you look at that you are already 1/2 way done! And guess who does not have to feed the girls this morning and change Madelyn's super full and stinky diaper after she eats? That's right YOU!"
Somewhere at around 12 or 13 miles Bad Kelly either shutup or left. I'm not sure which, but Good Kelly had FAR too much invested to NOT finish and the focus was all on the quickly dwindling miles, time left to run and dots to watch on that teeny little track. And lo and behold, I finished...the whole 18.
Personally, I think it's that sneaky little trick Good Kelly had around mile 4, "we can have the fight, but just keep those legs moving." Running isn't always fun. Running doesn't always feel good. But if you can just keep those legs moving you just might outrun your own head.
So am I crazy? I'm a runner. Absolutely.
'Til next time...
PS. E-Gel update. Do NOT like Cherry Bomb or Mountain Rush. Waaaaaaaay too strong a flavor for me. However, Tropical and Strawberry Vanilla Slam are awesome. I'm using them every 5 miles. Not sure how much of a pick me up I get at mile 5, but definitely feel a little sumptim sumptim at 10 & 15.