Monday, July 20, 2009

Faster Than a Speeding Mosquito

Yes, I am at least that fast.

While here in the great state of MI (at least my neck of the woods anyhow) we've been relatively absent of the nasty little pests (which by the way I just looked up what would happen if mosquitoes were eradicated thinking perhaps the little buggers had some good reason for being that I was unaware of, but no the answer was lame. You can read it here. I was looking for something more along the lines of total collapse of planet. Then and only then might my sheer annoyance be appeased. But I digress...) Absent of mosquitoes that is until July 4th.

And yes, I remember the exact date of their arrival because at our highly anticipated 4th of July BBQ at my parents (seriously my daughter has been talking about fireworks since the snow melted) at which we were fortunate enough to have out of town family in town for, the little devils came out in full force. We were literally attacked by an angry army of mosquitoes. By the next morning when my 3 year old crawled into bed with us, she was nothing but a frantic mess of bites, blood and scratching. "I can't stop itching mamma" she cried. Those suckers nailed her hard. Poor baby :-(

Unfortunately, they've stuck around since and seem to just now ever so slightly be dwindling a tad in their numbers. So what does this have to do with running? So glad you asked.

You see most of my runs are on the treadmill, even my longish runs. It's just far more convenient for me. But finally, this past weekend I headed outdoors for a 14 miler (which was sweet by the way, OH and I do finally have that E-Gel Review for all of you who've been following along and even those of you who haven't, but I'm probably going to save it for tomorrow since I just ran and the stink is becoming overwhelming. In fact, I'm not even sure I'll finish this post. Cough cough. Gag gag. Really, I reek right now and I KNOW you wanted to know that. I mean how can you adequately assess my ramblings if you don't in fact know what I smell like? Oops...wandering again. Sorry!)

Back to the 14 miler. So it was outside at 6AMish on one of my favorite (and hilly b/c I must also make sure I get credit for THAT) trails. 6AMish happens to either still be part of Mosquito happy hour or their just weren't enough silly fools out late at night to suffice the little blood suckers because the moment I stepped out of the car I was swarmed despite my mom (and running partner) claiming she hadn't noticed any. Maybe they weren't listening or perhaps they were being defiant, but either way I was soon looking like a crazy woman smacking myself repeatedly. Now my always prepared boyscout of a father (he thankfully bikes along to make sure no creepy dudes mess with us, make sure we stay hydrated, and of course do all the hard math-ie. you will turn here at 12.8 miles and wind up finishing at exactly your car) happened to bring bug spray. But I wasn't too keen on sniffing deet while running, so I passed and opted instead for the natural bite prevention method - RUNNING FAST.

Ok so maybe I didn't have to run that fast but in my neighborhood 10:30ish miles seems to do the trick. Not a single sucker caught me the whole run despite the fact that mosquitoes are attracted to sweat (seriously they are. You can look it up). And while I may never win a race or even an age group award for that matter, one thing is for darn certain I will NOT be contracting West Nile Virus on a run because those little SOBs can't keep up (that's right little bug, I said it. What? Stay up a little too late drinking? Blood's not the best pre-race carb loading? Come on. Listen just because your the size of a penny and not even remotely close to my age group doesn't give you even a tiny fragment of an excuse. You've got wings for crying out loud and no hills to contend with. Gimme a break.) No bites. Nada. And that my friends was something to celebrate. Well, that and the kick booty run, felt good, strong, good pace for me, right on schedule, and only a teensy bit sore the next day.

Moving on...Now I present to you
pondered in the heat of tonight's 6 mile run on the treadmill which happens to be located next to the stationary bike. Without further ado:

Why is the treadmill called a treadmill and a stationary bike a stationary bike? Couldn't it have been a stationary run and/or a treadbike or treadwheel? Did it have something to do with copyright laws? Is it a which came first kind of thing? Did it take people a longer time to latch on to what a "treadmill" was opposed to a "stationary bike" which is pretty self descriptive?

Ok so that's like 5 questions, but still, something to think about...

'Til next time...


Anonymous said...

Too funny Kelly! I myself spend a great deal of time out running mosquitoes and have found that for some reason they are attracted to sweaty Lululemon tank tops....

runnanna said...

You crack me up! And just as a witness, you did have aprety awesome run that day. Crim is right around the corner and you'll do great. BUT....Maybe I'll need to carry along a jar of mosquitoes to chase you!

Christy said...

The "treadmill" to me is actually called the dreadmill! I hate it! LOL!