Monday, March 23, 2009

The Great Gatorade Conspiracy

So I'm drinking an off brand sports drink the other day (which shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) and for no apparent reason started reading the side of the bottle. Shake gently. Come again? This is news to me. I've never shaken my sports drinks.

So tonight, before my run I check my Gatorade bottle. There are no drinking instructions to be found. What exactly is going on here my friends? Why would you shake one sports drink (already made I might add, it's not like I had to mix some packet with water) but not another. Are the great men and women of Gatorade keeping this under wraps on purpose...

Let's just think about this for a minute. Shall we? If in fact the instructions on this nameless sports drink are true, and you are actually supposed to shake your sports drink before drinking, what then does that mean for those of us who run in middle to back of the pack at our races? Are the superstar athletes at the front of the pack gobbling up all of the electrolytes that are so desperately needed by those of us in the rear leaving us nothing more than delightfully colored water and the mere illusion of electrolyte replacement?

And if this is in fact the case, shouldn't we as runners demand that race directors provide some sort of high tech beverage coolers with a mixing apparatus of some sort to ensure that we are all equally hydrated or shouldn't we at least be provided with some strong sumo types to shake those orange and yellow igloos before I am handed my paper cup for refueling?

Just how high does this conspiracy go? Something to think about...

More gems for you tomorrow...

3 comments:

john said...

Belts that are worn are autoshakers. The faster you shake it the faster you run!
John Carboni

RunMom said...

Ahhh...Excellent point! But wait does that mean the belt makers are in on it too? Hmmm...

Michael said...

Nice conspiracy, from now on I am shaking the drinks up in my mouth before I swallow!!